So many things have happened in the world lately that really hit home for me. Terrible things that involve children, things that no one can plan or prepare for, or know how to cope with. Unthinkable, unspeakable things that I don’t want to think about and that I have shed many tears over. But what I have taken away from it all is that life can change in an instant, and these little boys of mine are so incredibly precious to me and I suddenly have an urge stronger than ever to remember everything about them.
I want to remember Luke’s sweet wispy baby hair, how it makes the most gorgeous wings behind his ears, and how it curls up in the back at the nape of his neck. How soft and sweet his chubby cheeks are. How I melt every time he lays his head on me and softly says, “Mama.” The way he carries his Aden + Anais blankets around and calls them all “Mucky”, and how he hollers for his “Wuh-Wuh” (pacifier), even when there is one laying right in front of him. The way he calls for Jack, and you can hear the smile in his voice as soon as he finds him as he excitedly screams “JACK!” The way he climbs into the fridge, stands on the ledge and tries to open the drawer, asking for “Chee” and “muk.” The wonder he had for Christmas and all its decorations, exclaiming “WOW” with each new light display we passed and that one white bow he kept pulling off that one package under the tree, and those ornaments placed so purposefully down low since they were the ones that wouldn’t break when he took them off the tree over and over. The way his little arms feel around my legs when he walks up and give me a spontaneous hug, the way my lip throbs after he head-butts me, as is his way of giving kisses. The way he screams “DOG” each time he spies our dog, and the way he proceeds to pound on the dog’s back, then give him hugs. The way he excitedly makes animal sounds on command, the way his says “Uke” when you ask him his name, and the way he says “mama, dada, mama, dada” when he wakes up. The way he tugs at my hand when he wants to show me something. The way he just quietly wanders in his room and happily plays with toys or looks at books. The way he makes duck sounds, smacks his lips then sticks out his tongue. Most importantly, how much he clearly loves his parents, brother and family.
I want to remember Jack’s energy, the way he is always jumping on the couch, or standing on the arm and leaping on the cushions. How much he loves to play the Memory game. The way he always has to take “one toy” in the car with us, and how he runs back into the house for one more, and ends up with 3. The way he sings songs in his high pitched little voice. How he tells me he loves me with “all my green heart” and the way he says, “Momma, I love you” for no apparent reason. The way he says “great” when I ask how school was, followed by “play” when I ask what he did. The way he asks me to “tect him from the monsters and bad guys” at bed time. The way he says, “aww, you’re so sweet” or “aww, you’re so cute” in a sweet, sing-songy little way. They way he protests when I call him baby Jack, but how he loves to be held and snuggle on our laps. I want to remember how he hates to share with his brother, but loves “Bukes” so much and always wants to make sure he is included. I want to remember how much he wants to help, his love of chocky milk and puppy muffins and how he surprises me everyday with new words or facts. The way his little laugh sounds, how he likes me to “fly him” like a superhero and how he likes to play XBox with Daddy. The way he still asks me if Santa is bringing him toy, even though Christmas is 11 months away. Most importantly, I want to remember Jack’s sweetness, his kind heart and loving spirit, his vibrancy, his happiness, his love for his momma and daddy, and his Bukes.
I am so proud of my boys and of the family that Chris and I have created. These kids are amazing, wonderful little people. They are smart, they are funny, they are beautiful, they are innocent, they are precious and they are mine. They are forgiving and think we are the most incredible people in the world. And we have the greatest job of all- to teach them, to show them, to guide them, to mold them and to love them. Which we do, immensely.